Remember how workers were supposed to retire and open up higher positions and jobs for young people to move in to? That’s not happening because retirement is basically dead! Instead we’ll get grayternships, where older workers who would normally have retired now will get transformed in to bankers who I AM SURE will do trustworthy things with your money.

This is also because most companies consider all young people worthless waifs who will never earn enough money to buy things or empathize with the ultra-rich ultra-olds who want to pay you pennies to use the iDevice their eyes are apparently too “rheumy” to use. I’m not making that part up, see, here’s the quote:

“The bigger reason employers should be recruiting from the older generation is to align their staffing demographic with their customer profiles. Let’s face it, few of the millennials currently juggling multiple jobs to repay their student loans will ever be in a position to accumulate the property and capital base of the baby boomers. Unless your business is selling cutting-edge gadgets with screens and buttons too small for rheumy eyes and arthritic fingers, the upper end of the age scale probably offers greater profit potential.”

THAT’S RIGHT! Corporate America has decided that the terrifying youth are *actually* worthless.

Enjoy going to work tomorrow knowing that the guy whose job you want Will Never Retire until he is retrained to be a professional purveyor of ponzi schemes.